there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
