OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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