They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
