we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I look better un-naked...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
