I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
