Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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