'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
