Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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