Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize