He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
