If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My ass is underappreciated
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize