I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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