he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i think i just lost a toe
please don't ironically join a cult
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
