he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
