quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize