The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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