she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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