Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
