If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Boobs are out for the taking
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
