He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
