Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
