I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it hurts more in the daytime
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
