Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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