There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
