I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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