dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i think my cat just said my name.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
