I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
