For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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