Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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