how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
