Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
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