The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
