Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
