if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I checked into jail on foursquare
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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