No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
