She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
