Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
