i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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