Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize