3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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