Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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