dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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