I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
