i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
