I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize