Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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