suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
