Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
