It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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