So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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