I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
