I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize