There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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