last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize
