im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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