I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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