We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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