STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
