Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
