I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
