I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
