Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
