There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
