Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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