I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
