What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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