K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
