its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize