The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
