**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
