i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We need to rekindle our bromance
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
