So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
