I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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