we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm at about main and main street
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
